YeOldeFingerFile

OOO= vi .usrrc
".usrrc" 86 lines, 3567 characters
[courtois] john sculley pays david to smoke pot in his office and make
[courtois] fucked up noises on a sound tweaker

[*larson*] They should make your type wear thorazine collars..;^)

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[ Odd_Situations ] Message 441 (6 left): Fri Dec 4, 1992  10:39am
From: gunther (garlick@ucscb)
Subject: weird


yesterday, i was standing in front of communications, commiserating
with a friend, when one fishy umlaut strode purposefully from the
parking lot, eyes staring and fixed straight ahead, his gait and
pace unwavering - he could almost *smell* the macintoshes that he
knew were in the basement of the building just ahead.  so engrossed
in his mission was he, that my "hi david" as he passed by caused him
to nearly stumble, but he quickly recovered, mumbled "hi" or some
such and swifly disappeared into the bowels of the building.

a few minutes later, the same aforementioned fish re-appeared, looking
confused and bewildered.  "where are the macs?" he asked mournfully.
he looked so sad standing there, having just seen a room full of empty
PC chairs in place of his beloved macintoshes.  "they're at ming ong,
at merrill now," i replied.

"where is merrill?" he asked, whereupon directions were given ("do you
know where crown is?"  "uh huh") and off he went, his AutoGait (tm)
kicking in once again, now that he had a new destination's coordinates
entered.
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[ Odd_Situations ] Message 442 (7 left): Fri Dec 4, 1992  11:48am
From: Q (queue@ucscb)
Subject: Re(441): weird
6 lines (?)

AhaHahhaahA!  that's umlaut, in his finest form!
he _noticed_ you!

now, imagine that man driving.

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[ appliance ] Message 1729 (1 left): Mon March 15, 1993  11:03pm
From:   (gristle@netcom.netcom.com)
Subject: new appliance
5 lines (?)

        PK Dick Collected Short Stores Volume #1

        this appliance is used for interfacing with dvb

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AskMeesterPeester] Read(from-to): 3
[ AskMeesterPeester ] Message 3 (1 left): Tue May 5, 1992  6:44pm
From: Shmoo in your Shoe (yvonne@ucscb)
Subject: Meester Peester, please tell me...
6 lines (?)

Why does Dr Umlaut der van feeshy fish seem so out of place in comtemporary
society?   Or it just me?  Is he ahead of our time?

Please reply soon.

AskMeesterPeester] Read(from-to): 4
[ AskMeesterPeester ] Message 4 (0 left): Wed May 6, 1992  2:10am
From: Meester Peester (banshee@ucscb)
Subject: ^^^^^^
15 lines (?)

        Dear SS,  Dr Umlaut is in actuality an alien beaing projected back
in time to investigate certain members of a cult which developed from ucscb
and grew in power until it dominated the entire worldnet.  This net.cult was
the primary culprit in a global show of power in which the entire network
ceased operations for 12 hours.  This terrorist act, known as the Yam Scare,
was responsible for the death of over 25 million people and drove untold
millions more insane as a result of data starvation.  The aliens from which
DR Umlaut originates came upon the scene several thousand years after the
fact.  They decided to perform a survey after their landing crew was massacred
by a group of civilians wielding hoes and screaming "YAM YAM YAM" and they
discovered partial information detailing the Yam Scare.  They wish to
understand how a single act could have such profound of an effect even so
many years later.  (The fact these aliens resemble giant sweet potatoes is
purely coincidental.)

4/2/95.21:06 - 4/2/95.21:27